Your Title is Not Your Identity

All of us know that when preparing for a pageant, the pageantry world consumes everything we do, think or even say. We watch videos, train, go shopping, train some more, check out the gossip online, watch previous pageants, attend appearances and so much more.

And then if you win, it becomes even more a part of your world as you have appearances once or more a week, and are preparing yourself to compete for the national or International title on top of that.

What happens after the pageant or after you pass on your title?

Some women run into trouble after all the excitement of the pageant because they have started to attach and identify themselves with the pageant and/or title.

You are NOT your title. WHO you are is not Miss Whoever.

Life after pageants

It is so important that from the start of training and there on, you do not mix your personal identity with your title because something bad will happen once that title is taken away or you're done competing and don’t win.

You will feel lost, upset and maybe even depressed.

I remember after I competed at Miss International I felt so upset afterward and I didn’t understand why. I had just experienced something I’ve dreamed about doing for years – representing Minnesota at a major pageant!

My trainer and friend said it best when he told me that it made sense that I felt that way. I’ve worked and focused so much on that goal, that now it was done, I didn’t know what to do with myself. He told me all I had to do was just set-up another goal and I’d feel better. He was right.

You are destined for greater things

Competing and winning a pageant may be a part of your journey, but it is only a stepping stone to your destiny. Even after achieving the honor of winning a title, remember you are destined for even greater things in your life.

Always look forward. Be thankful for the past, but do not stay living in your “glory days” - it will leave you missing out on all the blessings and beauty that today offers – and the crown that lays ahead of you in your future!

Here are some tips to help you stay grounded so you don’t end up identifying yourself with your pageant/title:

1.       Set a goal outside of pageantry. Using the momentum on your fitness goals would be a great start. Your goals when getting in shape shouldn’t just be for the pageant. It should be to work toward living an overall healthy lifestyle. After you’ve given yourself a break, maybe you want to try a 5K or a sprint triathlon to keep yourself going. Let’s be honest, there’s not much a pageant girl can’t do!

2.       Don’t talk about pageants all the time. I mean, your friends and family support you, but not all are pageant fans and don’t care for hearing certain details. Take a break from the world of pageants and be sure to talk about other things.

3.       Live in the present moment. There is so much in your daily life to be grateful for. Practice living in the present moment and seeing the love and beauty that surrounds you.  

4.       Continue with your community service and other appearances. Just because you’re not competing or don’t have a title doesn’t mean you should stop doing what made it so great in the first place. Servicing others & volunteering always fills your heart with joy and gratitude. If there were fun appearances and events you liked to attend – keep attending them! Just because you don’t have a sash and crown doesn’t mean they won’t be as fun. In fact, maintaining the relationships you formed may serve you in the future!
 

photo credit: julie_ann_shahin via photopin cc